Black Cloud (n)- A Doctor or medical professional who attracts a high number of difficult and critical patients or a high number of code blues

Synonyms: ME

So yesterday my second patient of the day was a EMS Code Blue, presented in Aystole x10m of CPR. EMS gave x2 of vasopressin (Don’t ask my why because I was always taught that you only replace the first or second round of Epi with one dose of vasopressin) and that was it. We ended up reviving him with an amp of D50 ( bedside glucose was 22, EMS didn’t do a d-stick). Then, right when we’re doing some post-resuscitation care like hanging a dopamine drip and starting a central line, a perfectly stable patient that the previous physician signed out to us coded two rooms down.

My black cloud seriously hates me, y’all. I was told that the day was perfectly fine and normal until I walked in, which is what usually happens.
(But we resuscitated both!!)

This one time I walked into male pt’s room presenting with LLQ and pain to obtain a history . As soon as I crossed the threshold into the room he suddenly grasped his chest and said he was in pain

HE ENDED UP HAVING A STEMI

wayfaringmd:

We discussed white clouds, but we can’t forget their foils, the black clouds. These are the people you hope to never be on call with, because you know you’re in for a rough night. 



So for your own safety and sanity, I’ve put together a little list called HOW TO SPOT A BLACK CLOUD:

Their patient census is full of contagion: MRSA, C. diff, TB, rotavirus, VRE…Frequent fliers ask for them by name.Half of their continuity patients are drug seekers.They have never eaten, peed, sat down,or slept on a call night. EVER.They have twice as many admissions on a call night than anyone else. They never get the vacation days they request. They sometimes have to decide which code blue to go to first. 

If your colleague meets at least 4 of the 10 criteria, stay away. They may be a black cloud!



I am the perfect example of a black cloud

in fact, I am called the black cloud of work

I will have doctors groan when I walk into our office because they know it’s gonna be a rough night

I have literally stepped into our office and had a code called at the same time

Think you’re just going to go see a simple cough and fever? Think again because that shit is TB 

Think you’re going to see a toe lac? TOO BAD BECAUSE HE CODES WHILE YOU’RE SUTURING

There’s a funny rumor going around that I caused someone to have an MI because I walked into their room (that is a post for another time folks)